I want to make a zoo with you.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize