nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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