Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize