He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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