i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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