A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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