3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
there was a trapeze. enough said
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
