foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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