My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize