You were right. It hurts to walk today.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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