talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize