i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
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After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
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This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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