he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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