I was born with a shot glass in my hand
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize