And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
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Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
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If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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