This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize