The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
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