She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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