what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize