I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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