meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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