her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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