Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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