Sry I called you an 8
Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
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They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
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The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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