If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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