How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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