i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize