theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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