So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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