i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize