Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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