i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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