I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
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Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
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The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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