if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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