i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize