if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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