Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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