I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize