Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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