i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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