you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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