Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
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