I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize