Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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