I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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