doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
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Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
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Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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