found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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