summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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