y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
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I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
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Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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