you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize