I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize