omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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